Clash of the Elements: Celestial Gods: The Moon
by Myan Mirage
Summary: For three years, Starfire has lived on earth, secretly loving Robin as well as slowly changing and adapting to the Earth culture. Now almost nineteen, her body is changing along with her daily routine. All she wants to see is the moon. Hiatus
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

I've been on Earth for three years. Over those three years, I've become accustomed to how things run on Earth, learned to blend in with the other teens my age. I've even fallen in love with an inhabitant of this planet, but somehow, I know that that was the wrong decision. Deep down, I know that he doesn't love me. I sighed. As long as he was happy, I could be happy, or pretend to be, anyway.

Staring outside through the large window of the Titan Tower, I watched as the sun slowly began to set upon the horizon, behind the tall skyscrapers and buildings that made up Jump City. I was alone in the empty tower, which wasn't surprising. It had been a gorgeous day, and everyone else had decided to go outside to enjoy his or her only free day. Robin had tried to get me to come with them, but for the longest, I haven't been able to stand the rays of the sun on my skin. I lied and told him that I didn't feel well. Of course, he tried to cancel the trip to stay here and help take care of me, but I just told them to go and have fun. I could tell that Raven was suspicious of my actions, but I didn't really mind. She had a right to be. I was lying to my friends again. I did that before when I was going through my transformation, but this time was different. I had changed somehow, but not physically. Mentally, I suppose. The sun didn't appeal to me anymore. Yes, I would still go down to the beach sometimes with everyone else, but I would constantly remain beside Raven underneath the umbrella. No, the sun didn't appeal to me anymore. It was the moon.

I loved nights. I loved all kinds of nights. Spring nights, summer nights, winter nights, autumn nights, all of them. I loved them all. I loved how the moon would shine so bright when it was full. I detested nights when there was no moon, becoming cranky and less appealing to hang out with. I didn't care, though. I loved the moon. I loved the stars that sparkling around it and how its beauty wasn't overcome by the ever constant blue skies and clouds like the sun was. I loved the deep red it turned during a lunar eclipse. Those were my favorite nights. I would feel so strong and free during those nights. I couldn't understand how everyone could just sleep when such a beautiful thing was shining just as brightly as the sun at night. I spent my nights wide awake, sitting on the roof, staring up at the moon. My days were spent sleeping, my curtains closed, making myself an artificial night, despite the fact that I had no moon. That's how I spent my life now for the past two years. My friends have been worried about me, but seeing as nothing is affecting my fighting capabilities, Robin waves it off as something to do with my heritage, like they always do with my weirdness.

I heard the familiar whooshing sound of the door opening and closing. "Starfire, are you alright now?" I heard Raven question from behind me. I turned to her and smiled.

"I'm just fine, Raven," I told her feigning happiness. The only time I was happy was at night. By now, she had begun to understand that much. "Where is everyone else?" She nodded her head towards the window.

"They decided to stay outside and watch the sunset," she replied. "I've had enough sun for today. I'm heading to my room to meditate. Please keep quiet." I nodded before turning back to the window. The door whooshed open and close as Raven left the room. I sighed as I thought of her request. Did I really have a choice whether or not to be quiet? I was becoming increasingly quieter during the day, something that was increasingly causing worry towards my friends. This wasn't surprising, seeing as I used to always talk or hum or sing all of the time. Now, the only way for anyone to really open me up was to speak of the moon or the night sky. I could talk about that for hours.

I giggled to myself as I continued to stare out of the window as the sun disappeared low beyond the horizon. Somehow, this made me recall a poem about the moon I had once heard.

"The Moon in the sky was once heard to say,

It's high Time I saw this thing know as day.

So the Moon checked its Clock and rose with the sun,

And before long, it realized just what it had done.

It's far too bright here; I've made a mistake!

What heat, what havoc the sun can create.

I want to go back. So when duck came again,

The Moon rose when it should, and said, ah 'tis heaven."

I giggled, proud of myself for remembering the entire poem. It's so cute and silly. Something a child would enjoy. I sure enjoyed it. I loved that poem, and sometimes recited it as I sat on the roof, watching the moon in the sky. It was fun to recite poetry to myself sometimes. I enjoyed it.

"When did you learn that one?" I jumped before turning around to find the boys back. I smiled nervously at Robin, who had been the one who commented me on the poem.

"Internet," I responded truthfully. I got most of my poetry from the internet and the rest from Raven's books and the local library. I have taken an interest in poetry lately.

"it's pretty cool," he said. "Are you feeling better?" I nodded my head calmly, folding my blanket tighter around my body. I had taken to wearing it during the day, not during missions of course.

"You weren't lonely by yourself, were you?" Beast Boy questioned. "Raven sure snuck away from us."

"You know how Raven doesn't like the sunlight, BB," Cyborg said, hopping onto the couch. I moved out of the way, as he grabbed the remote before grabbing the video game controller. "You wanna play a game, Star?" I smiled and shook my head.

"Come on, Star," Beast Boy said. "Don't be like that. You've been acting weird for awhile. Are you okay? I mean, you can tell Dr. BB." Cyborg shot him a questioning look before turning back to me.

"I wouldn't trust him," he warned. Beast Boy glared at him.

"Oh, shut up and press start! I'm going to make you wish you had never said that."

"You're on!"

As the two got into a heated battle on the game, I walked away quietly, glancing around the screen to look at the darkening sky. The moon was going to rise in a few minutes, and I didn't want to miss it. I tried my hardest to just walk straight past Robin without stopping, but he made that difficult by grabbing my arm.

"Starfire, are you sure you're alright?" he questioned. I smoothed my face over, which was easier said than done since I was seething under the surface from being asked that question several time today.

"I'm fine, Robin, really," I told him. "Would you please let me go? I have somewhere to be." I snatched my arm from his hand and almost ran from the room. Once in the dark hallway, I sighed but shook my head. I don't need to be thinking about him right now. The moon was about him right now. The moon was about to rise. That overcame everything else in my life. The moon was first and foremost and would always remain that way.

Once I was finally on the roof, I sighed with relief. The moon hadn't yet risen. Some stars were just appearing up above, but that was all. They were nothing more than entertainment while the main attraction was preparing to make its grand entrance. I floated across the roof to my usual spot near the very edge and dropped my blanket, spreading it out across the cement before dropping to the ground in a meditative position. I relaxed and waited.

"Starfire?" I flinched. Him again. God I love him, but he could be such a nuisance! "Starfire, what are you doing up here alone?" I forced myself to relax before turning to look up at him near the door to the stairwell.

"I'm here to watch the moon rise," I told him before turning back to the sky just in time to see the moon peak out above the horizon. I stared in awe at its sight. Such a round, pale beauty it was. Its surface was flawless. Some might say that its craters were flaws themselves, but I saw their beauty. Nothing is perfect. The only way to reach perfection is to be flawed in some way or another. The moon was a flawed beauty. Beauty in itself wasn't perfection. Flawless wasn't perfection. Perfection was flawed and is a flaw.

I heard Robin walk towards me. In my peripheral vision, I saw him sit down beside me. "You do this every night?" he questioned. My arm twitched with the urge to slap him. The moon could only be viewed in silence. Silence.

"Yes," I responded quickly. I could hear my annoyance in my words. So could he. He remained quiet for awhile, thank God. I supposed I was rude to him, but at the moment, I didn't care. I wanted to watch my moon rise in peace and quiet. Peace and quiet. That's all I wanted.

As the moon continued to rise high and higher into the sky, I could tell that he was getting increasingly bored and fidgety. Finally, once the moon was directly across from us, he said, "How can you do this every night? No offense, but it's rather boring." My arm muscles twitched again. Oh, he was so close to getting his face smashed in. "I mean, the moon is alright to look at, but the sun is much better. You get heat and light from the sun. The moon is just a decoration in the sky. It's not even as pretty as the sun." I bit my lip hard before hunching over slightly so that my hair fell into my face. I could feel his eyes on my back, but right now I couldn't care less. He had just made me extremely angry. Even the moon couldn't calm me down now.

I took a couple of deep breaths and was about to say something when I glanced up just in time for the moon to become shadowed by something. My anger was completely forgotten. I broke out into a huge grin. "A lunar eclipse!" I squealed. Robin jumped when I said that. Had I frightened him? I didn't care. I was too excited. I left the ground to get a closer look. I watched with growing excitement as the moon was slowly obscured from my view by the sun.

As I watched, I heard the others join Robin and I on the roof. I almost turned and glared at Beast Boy when he shouted, "Wow! A lunar eclipse! This is so cool!"

"Shut up!" I heard Raven snap at him. "You're ruining my concentration." I glanced over my shoulder to find that she was still trying to meditate, even outside. I guess she had just been drawn by moon and nothing else. Oh well, at least she shut him up.

As the moon became completely eclipsed and turned a deep blood red, a powerful wave of energy forced me backwards into a somersault. The power felt so good. I loved it just as much as I loved the moon. I felt that I could do anything and everything as long as I had this intense power flowing through my veins.

"That is so cool," Beast Boy breathed. "Okay. Let's get back to our game. I'm going to kick your butt!"

"You're on!" Cyborg yelled as they both ran back to the living room. They just killed the entire moment.

"I'm going to bed," Robin said. "'Night, Star, Rae." He left us, too.

Raven and I were both quiet as the eclipsed moon began to slowly return to normal over the next five minutes. When it turned back to its original pale white shade, I returned to my blanket and my meditative position. Now that the eclipse was over, I felt drained of the power that had run through my body just a few minutes before. I was actually ready to fall asleep, something I hadn't done in awhile at night.

After a few minutes, Raven floated to my side, but remained floating. "What was that?" she questioned. I didn't look up at her, but instead closed my eyes. I wasn't going to sleep, but instead relaxing. It was around midnight now, and this was around the time I myself decided to meditate.

"What was what?" I mumbled, slightly confused by her question.

"I felt a power surge coming from you when the moon eclipsed," she continued. "What was that?" I resisted the urge to shrug.

"I truly don't know," I responded. "It comes and goes during eclipses, so it's not permanent or lasts very long." She was quiet after my response. So was I. I was trying to relax, to go deep down past my mental consciousness and slip into a deep state of transgression.

"We'll talk when you return," I heard Raven said. I nodded softly before I felt myself slip from reality.

I enjoyed the trip down to the very bottom of my subconscious. It was an interesting journey. I briefly saw memories I had long since forgotten. My parents when they were still alive. My sister Blackfire when we were still close, which was farther back in time than I wanted. Tamaran when I was younger. My people back on Tamaran.

One day I would return to them as their queen, but for now, I couldn't think about something like that. I was still dropping at a steady rate.

When I first managed to slip away, I was so surprised that I was jerked back into consciousness. That was two years ago. Now, I was more relaxed and prepared for the descent. The outer world was becoming weaker and less real than my own inner subconscious as I continued to fall. That seemed to be all I've ever been able to do. Just fall. I've never landed anywhere inside my subconscious. I've just continued to fall. To steadily fall deeper and deeper, farther and farther. For that part, falling was much more interesting than rising, for I knew what was to reach me when I rose up. What I was to find when I fell was much more interesting.

After matter of seconds – truthfully, I really had no idea how long it took – I noticed something gleaming near the bottom. It was a bright pale light and appeared to be circular. I wonder what it is. It was weird seeing something like this inside of my body, my mind. I had no idea what it was or why it was so deep inside my mind. Could this be the reason why I've been acting weird these last two years? Truthfully, I didn't find myself weird. I learned about all of the star constellations and how to find them. I learned how to find each individual star in the sky, and how to figure out when the next lunar eclipse was to come. My hobbies are very unique and educational, so why call me weird?

As I kept falling, the pale light became brighter and brighter until I had to cover my eyes from the blinding light. Suddenly, I felt myself stop. Slowly peeking out from underneath my arm, I gasped before dropping them. It was the moon! The moon was the reason for the bright light, and now it was directly in front of me, floating in midair. I couldn't believe it. I had to be dreaming. This was too good to be true.

As I stared in complete and total awe, the moon before me began to shift and morph. I stared as it slowly began to turn into a woman. Her skin was completely white like that of the moon itself. She had long, cascading white-silver hair. Her eyes were that of a blue star, glowing with their own inner light. Her entire body glowed with an otherworldly light. I felt weak and fragile in her presence.

"My name is Delphine," she spoke, her voice deep and clear, edged with a soft layer of authority, as though she were above me and everyone else. To me, she was. "I am the first goddess of the Moon." I stared at her in awe before bowing my head.

"I bow to you, Goddess," I said to her before completely bowing my body. I straightened up, but kept my gaze to the ground. She was too important and special for me to even look at.

I was taken by surprise when a white hand delicately took hold of my chin and raised my head so that I looked directly into her star blue eyes. I felt myself blush deeply. She smiled at me.

"There is no need for you to bow to me, young one," she said. "Instead, I should be bowing to you. Years ago, when I died, I was just a lowly spirit looking for my successor, and now I have found that person in you, Kori'ander. You are the successor of my power, the one who is to fight for me in the battle between good and evil. Kori, you are my reincarnation. You are the new goddess of the Moon." I stared at her, completely and utterly shocked by her words. I was above her? No way. That couldn't be right. She couldn't be right when she said I was a goddess. How could I be? I was just a pathetic excuse for a princess who could barely take care of herself. I was nothing compared to her. Nothing. Yet, she told me that I was above her. Could she really be telling me the truth?

"I can see the doubt in your eyes," she told me. "What I am saying is the truth, Kori. You are the successor to my power, the heir to my fortune, as well as one of the reincarnates who is going to save the world. Do you understand?" I nodded slowly, letting everything sink in. "Good. It is time for you to go. When you fall asleep, you will return to this place, to your soul, and we shall talk again." I felt something tug me back towards the world of the living. No. It wasn't a tug. It was a shove. She was pushing me back up "We'll see each other again tomorrow. For now, try to understand these words. Do not trust anyone with this secret. Don't trust anyone but that girl, that Raven." I nodded as the push became too strong to ignore. She held my chin for another moment before leaning forward and planting a kiss on my lips. "I will see you tomorrow, Kori. For now, god night." She released me, and I was jerked back into the world of the living and the conscious. I didn't want to be here.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

When I fully returned to the world of the conscious, I opened my eyes to find the sun slowly rising up from the horizon. Beside me, Raven still floated, still in a meditative coma. I sighed before standing up. It was dawn. Time for me to get to bed.

I stood up and stretched, yawning as I did so. "Starfire, would you talk to me?" I turned and watched Raven as she floated in the air. Talk to her about what? I gasped as I realized what she was talking about. Before I slipped away, she had said that she wanted to talk when I returned. Well, I returned, and now she wished to talk. Hadn't the goddess said not to trust anyone? But she had to trust Raven, calling her by name. I could trust Raven. She could keep secrets. I still didn't know all there was to know about her. That's how well she's able to keep a secret.

I pulled my lips into a straight line. "As long as you keep this a secret, okay?" I told her. She opened her eyes and looked directly before standing on the ground. She nodded.

"But let's not talk here," she said. "Let's try your room." I nodded. Everyone would be suspicious if I went into her room. She's been in my room a bunch of times, except for the past two years. I had found a Tamaranian spell that kept out intruders. Unless I invited her in, she couldn't come inside, even if she phased through the wall.

As we flew down the stairwell to the main floor, I stopped abruptly before grabbing a green fly from the wall. "Beast Boy, what are you doing?" I questioned. "Tell me if you don't want me to squish you." He made a bunch of buzzing sounds before I rolled my eyes. Of course, he couldn't talk to me while morphed. I released him and allowed him to regain his shape. "What did you say? Tell me the truth. I can still squish you."

"So can I," Raven added, her hands and eyes glowing with her power. Beast Boy squeaked in horror. She would always scare him more. I was far too nice with him.

"I was just coming up here to get you guys from the roof," he squealed. "Robin told me that you two were most likely still up here. I was just coming to get you for breakfast." I stared at him for a moment before I noticed how hungry I was. I hadn't eaten much breakfast yesterday, and I had completely skipped lunch and dinner. I suppose I was up for breakfast.

I looked past Beast Boy to Raven. She shrugged before floating downstairs. I smiled softly at Beast Boy. "Breakfast sounds good," I told him. "What's on the menu?" He stared at me incredulously.

"You're actually going to eat breakfast with us?" he exclaimed, making it sound as though it was such a shock. Well, it probably was since I was always asleep by now.

"Yeah," I told him. He cheered.

"Well, the menu depends on whether you want vegetarian or meat," he said as we continued downstairs. Somehow, I could practically feel him pushing me towards vegetarian, so I decided to humor him. I didn't feel like eating meat, anyway.

"What's the vegetarian menu like?" I asked him. He beamed at me.

"Tofu dogs, soy milk, carrots, celery, and many more," he said. He was extremely happy that he was getting someone else to eat veggie style with him. Cyborg was going to be disappointed, but disappointing Beast Boy was like kicking a puppy. Some people could probably pull it off, but I certainly couldn't do it.

"Well, look who decided to join us for breakfast!" Cyborg exclaimed. It was far too early in the morning for anyone to be that loud. I smiled at him anyway as I sat down at the counter next to Robin. Raven was even here, floating near the end of the counter, reading a book.

"So, what do you want?" Cyborg questioned. "Meat or tofu?" I chuckled.

"I already told Beast Boy that I'd be having the vegetarian breakfast," I responded. "Sorry, Cyborg." His face dropped before turning to glare at Beast Boy.

"You just had to get to her first, huh?" he snapped.

"Don't be mad 'cause Star decided to eat my cooking for breakfast," Beast Boy said. "Just be happy she decided to join us." He turned me and beamed. "And what would you want for breakfast?"

"How about a salad?" I suggested. He cheered before practically destroying the refrigerator trying to find all of the ingredients for it. Though, how much stuff do you need for a salad, anyway? "What are you looking for?" I finally questioned after he'd been through it six or seven times. He looked up at me and smiled nervously.

"Um, I think Cyborg used all of the lettuce the other day," he said, chuckling nervously. I shrugged.

"I'll have celery, then," I responded, lying my head down on the counter. I could feel myself trying to fall to sleep, and I would most likely do so while sitting here with my friends. Are they my friends? Most friends would bug each other about what's wrong until they tell them. Most wouldn't say something stupid like Robin did. He insulted my moon! I would never forgive him for that. I mean, really. How could you say something like that when the person next to you is obviously in love with the mere thought of that beautiful object in the sky? And he's supposed to be smart.

I yawned and stretched. I watched as Cyborg and Beast Boy fluttered around the tiny kitchen. Cyborg was frying pancakes, whipping eggs, and frying bacon at the same time while Beast Boy was working with his tofu sausages as well as searching the fridge for the celery and some Ranch dressing to go with it. I could feel myself drifting as I continued to watch them cook. I guess I wasn't hungry enough to stay awake.

I yawned again and closed my eyes. I was just going to rest them for a second, hoping that Beast Boy would hurry up with my food. Sadly, my body wasn't going to let me stay awake, but someone wanted me to remain so for I felt someone place a hand on my shoulder and gently shake me awake. I turned my head to find that it was Robin. "What?" I asked drowsily. I yawned.

"Are you really going to go to sleep at the counter?" he questioned, amused by how I was acting.

"If Beast Boy doesn't hurry up!" I shouted to the green teenager.

"We don't have anything in the house!" Beast Boy shouted. "Whose turn was it to go shopping?" I looked at him for a moment.

"I think it was mine," I said. "Sorry. I'm not up during the day, so I'd have to go shopping at night. I know this is Jump City, but are there even twenty-four hour stores here?"

"Oh come on, Star!" Beast Boy said, standing directly before me. "You gotta go to the store soon, we'll starve!"

"No, you'll starve. Everyone else will eat meat." Beast Boy's jaw dropped as he stared at me, shock by my remark. Hey, I was tired, making me cranky, and it wasn't as if I was lying or anything. He would starve while everyone else ate meat. Go figure.

"Star, are you alright?" Robin questioned me. Oh how I hate those words. This time, unable to control myself, I decided to voice my thoughts.

"Ask me that annoying question again, and I will crush you," I snapped. "Obviously, no. I'm not all right. I'm tired. Shut up." I really have been on Earth for a long time if I'm starting to sound like an Earthling. I sound like one of those teens off the television.

Everyone became quiet, surprised by my response. Robin stared at me as though I were someone else, which, by the way, I'm beginning to think I was. I was no longer the naïve little girl who had crash landed on Earth three years ago. I was becoming more and more like the American I was trying to be. It was so much fun.

"I was waiting for her to say that," Raven said, breaking the silence. She levitated her book an inch or so above her head. She smiled softly at me. "I was beginning to get annoyed with that questioned, and I'm not the one being questioned." The book floated back to its position before her.

"Star, I think we really need to talk about your behavior," Robin continued, ignoring the half demon. I inwardly groaned and turned away from him. "Star, I'm serious."

"I know you are," I told him, standing up. Looking him directly in the eyes, I said, "That's why I'm going to bed."

"Starfire!" he snapped, standing up to go after me. I stopped in front of the door and turned to look at him, crossing my arms underneath my breasts. I don't know what it was about the way he said my name, but it forced me to stop and stay. I'd never met Batman before, but I'm guessing he got that from the Dark Knight himself.

I gazed directly into his eyes, or as close as I could get with his mask still on. "Why are we discussing this?" I questioned. "What have I done wrong that is so serious? So I've been acting a little strange over the past few years. I've been living on this planet for three years. Do you really think it's strange for me to get accustomed to what's been happening here? That I just happened to pick up some stuff from you guys? What is so strange about me and my attitude that you want to talk about it?"

"For one thing, you spend all night outside watching the moon like it's the most fascinating thing in the world," Robin said to me. "You spend most of your days inside the tower, and you act as though the sun hurts."

"I don't tan easily," I lied, knowing it was a very bad lie. Robin knew it, too, because he sat down and sighed.

"Don't play with me, Star," he said. "I'm very serious. Your behavior and attitude could cause problems in when we're in the field."

"Have they caused problems?" I questioned. Robin glared at me. I flinched and took a step back. I had never seen him look at me like that before. Was this what would happen if we ever got into an argument like this again? Would he look at me like I was an issue? A problem that need to be corrected? Is that all I was to him? A nuisance.

"Not yet," he said after a moment. "They haven't caused a problem yet, but they will if you keep acting like this. Why did you change?" I froze and stared at him. Why did I change? Why did I change! Son of a- He can't handle my change. That's why he's yelling at me. That's why he looks at me like I'm a problem. He can't accept that I've become a different person than I was two years ago. He can't handle that I'm not the innocent, naïve little girl I was before.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I couldn't stand to look at him right now. I could feel the tears welling up behind my eyes, but the last thing I needed was for me to start crying in front of him. I shook my head and took another deep breath. Calm down. Relax. Remember your meditation lessons. Clear your mind. Anger is a dangerous emotion unless trained. Ignore everything that's going on around you. Relax. Breathe in. Breathe out.

"Good use of meditation lessons," Raven said, still reading from her book.

"Quiet, Raven," Robin ordered.

"I don't see why you're so angry with her," Raven continued. "Can it be helped that she's changed? I mean, she's been living on Earth for three years. Did you expect her to remain the same girl who fell from the sky? She's been living on Earth. Even I've changed."

"You have?" Beast Boy questioned. Raven glared at him, earning a yelp from the boy before he turned into a rat and scurried away.

I took one last deep before saying, "Just because you can't handle my change doesn't mean that you have to yell at me." I opened my eyes and looked at Robin. "What is so wrong with how I act now than before?" Robin stared at me before getting up.

He walked towards me and as he got beside me on his way out of the room, he said," Everything." I stood, frozen in place as the door opened and closed behind me. I remained frozen as that word repeated over and over in my mind. Everything. He hated how I acted now. He hated everything about how I acted now. He hated it. He hated my attitude, my behavior. He hated me.

I don't remember when I fell to my knees, when the tears began to pour from my eyes, when I started sobbing and all together full out crying. I don't remember when Beast Boy and Cyborg came to my side, when Raven wrapped me inside her psychokinetic arms, when she carried me to my room. I don't remember when Cyborg and Beast Boy got into an argument with Robin. I don't remember any of it. I was still stuck on his words. That one word broke my heart. It ruined me. That one word ruined me.

As I lie in my bed, curled up around a pillow, sobbing hysterically as Raven stroked my hair, her presence only remotely soothing, I could feel myself, my soul, breaking, shattering. Whatever was left of the Starfire before was gone, destroyed with her shattered heart. That Starfire was gone. Whoever this was now, this person who had now taken full control of her body, this person was no longer held back by her heart, by the love she once had for the one who had just told that everything was wrong with her. This Starfire – no – Kori'ander was different, and it was going to be all his fault. Not that I'm going to blame him. I'm going to thank him. I'm going to show him just how grateful I was.


	3. Chapter 3

"Can we talk now?" Raven questioned, after I had finally stopped crying. I nodded slightly, slowly sitting up. I wiped my eyes with my bare arm. I sighed as I ran my hand through my hair. The parts of my hair where my tears had fallen had already started to become curly again. It was becoming more and more difficult to keep my hair straight. It had been straight a couple of years ago, but not anymore, I don't know what had happened. It had started becoming curly about two years ago, when my attitude started to change. I guess this had something to do with the Moon Goddess.

"Sure," I responded. "It will…take my mind off things." She nodded as I rubbed my eyes again as a couple more tears slipped out. "What do you want to know?" I rubbed my eyes again. Raven watched me. Her face was as cold as ever, but I knew her expression wasn't because of me. She was most likely seething under the surface from how Robin treated me. I probably would have responded the same way if she had been in my place.

Raven turned from me and stared at the closed curtain of my window. I'm pretty sure my room was beginning to look like hers, dark and gloomy. I chuckled to myself, gaining her attention again. She shot me a questioning gaze. I shook my head, smirking, before I stood up and walked over to my bookshelf and began to go through the multiple poetry books I had bought from one of the multiple bookstores at the mall.

"You really loved him, didn't you?" Raven asked, breaking the silence. I paused my search before continuing.

"Yeah," I sighed. "I really did. And he broke my heart." I flinched at the sound of wood splintering. I had accidentally gripped my bookshelf just a tad bit too hard. I stared at the splinters that had stabbed themselves deep into my hand. I watched the ebony covered blood swell from the cuts and run down in rivulets on my hand. There goes another thing that makes me alien. My blood wasn't red. I frowned. Blandly, I said, "Ow." With my right hand, I grabbed the book I was searching for and went back to my bed.

Raven took my bleeding hand in hers and began the painful process of removing each splinter from my palm. Of course, by this time, I was numb to the pain. With my right hand, I opened the book and began the search for my favorite poem.

"What happened when you were meditating?" Raven questioned as she pulled one large shard – far too big to be called a splinter – from my palm, causing my hand to erupt with blood. The half demon hissed. "It broke a vein." She wrapped her dark power around my hand and began to heal it. She glanced up at me only to find that I was still searching for my poem. "Doesn't this hurt?" she questioned me, disturbed by my nonexistent reaction towards the pain and bleeding.

"Not really," I responded. "I've become numb to most pains if I don't really think about them. Why do you think you can never tell whether or not I'm on my period?" I chuckled at Raven's surprised expression to my words. "My body works the same way as yours, Raven. There is very little difference."

"What's the little difference?" she questioned, finally healing the broken vein and continuing to pull out the multiple sized pieces of wood that were still embedded inside my palm.

"We go through transformations," I responded. "And we truthfully don't need periods, but we go through them anyway. We all have to suffer." Raven chuckled – no, she really did chuckle – at my response.

"Everyone suffers," she responded, plucking out the last shard. "We just suffer more." She healed the rest of my palm before releasing my hand. "What are you looking for?" I chuckled before showing her the page that I had stopped on.

"This poem," I told her, tapping the page. "I Can't See the Moon." I took a deep breath and read:

"The thin fibers that hold me together strain against the tautness

The weight becomes unbearable

And I can't see the moon

Following the string, and cloud by haze of my own making, I seek it

That feeling of discovery, of self worth

And I can't see the moon

Wisps of smoke shelter me through the torrents

Lost in agony, inconsolable

And I can't see the moon

Darkness crowds the dark thoughts

Suddenly you are out of reach

And I can't see the moon

Life is just an illusion

But I'll believe you if you tell me it isn't so

Yet I still can't see the moon

I lost my trust, but never should have

I am not the one you feel

And I can't see the moon

I thought I found you, but you weren't there at all

Somehow you forget I am next you. Your beauty obscures

And I still can't see the moon

All the anger I have felt slips through my fingertips

Live while you can

Because I can't see the moon

Paradise awaits on the other corner of life, knowing

If you love a lot you'll find strength to sing alone

And perhaps you will see the moon

There are a thousand things I want to say

But I can only think of one.

Yet I still can't see the moon."

I sighed as I closed the book. Somehow, that poem just summarized all of my feelings right now. I had been stressed because of everything that was happening, to me and to everyone around me. Keeping my new life a secret from everyone, trying to go along with my life as normal as possible, but I was beginning to get lost in my obsession for the moon, but could it be helped? I am the reincarnate of the moon goddess. Yes, I said it. I'm the reincarnate of the goddess of the moon. It still sounded extremely weird and ridiculous to me, but I'm slowly realizing that it has some truth to it.

"That was deep and dark, Star," Raven said, staring at me incredulously. "Where did you find this?" I shrugged.

"Some bookstore at the mall. I think it was a Goth bookstore. It was dark and creepy, but I sort of like it there. It reminded me of moonless nights. Depressing, if you ask me, but the books there were good. I bought a bunch of them." I nodded towards my bookshelf. "I organize my books by date bought."

"I've been there before. I have a lot of book from that store." I nodded.

"Yeah, I sort of went through some of your books while you weren't there. That's how I found out about the story. Sorry. I hadn't meant to sneak into your room."

"I thought it was Beast Boy! Then again, why would he go through my books?" Raven shook her head. "Now, about last night."

I sat back on my bed and ran my hand through my slowly curling hair. "That's just how the moon effects me," I told her as I tossed my hair over my shoulder, out of my face. "Especially eclipses. Eclipses either weaken or strengthen me, depending on what type they are. Lunar strengthen, solar weaken. That's why sometimes during or after a solar eclipse, I'll collapse or be very tired and irritable. It happened twice over the past couple of years. I've only been acting like this since my sixteenth birthday two years ago."

"What else has changed about you since then? Wait, don't answer that, yet. Answer this one: Why did you keep all of this a secret from us? Why are you telling me now?" I bit my lip.

"Well, I was scared," I responded, playing with my now curly hair. "I was scared that I was going through a second transformation. That's not unheard of on my planet. Two transformations mean that you're going to be strong. Three means powerful. Kom – I mean Blackfire – went through two whereas I've only been through one, the standard number for Tamaranians. Two is remarkable. Three is incredibly rare."

"If two means you're strong, then why were you scared?" I bit my lip harder, drawing blood before shaking my head.

"I've heard and seen what happens to a person during their second and third transformation," I continued. "It looks very painful, and by how badly they react to the pain and mental torment of the transformation, it's as painful as it looks, and I don't want to go through that, even if it is for the power. Some Tamaranians are left distraught and insane after their second transformation. Blackfire was one of the lucky ones. If you survive your second, there is a less likely chance that you'll survive your third. My father just barely made it."

"So it gets worse after the first, and your chances of survival after the second are bare minimal," Raven commented. I nodded. "I understand your fright." I nodded again.

"I do want to get stronger, but going through that mental and physical torture is not what I want," I responded. "But now, I don't need to."

"Why do you say that?"

I looked up at her and smiled. "When I was meditating, I actually reached the bottom. I reached the bottom and saw the moon. I swear it sounds weird, but I really did see the moon. Then it shifted and turned into this really beautiful woman. She told me that she was the previous goddess of the moon. I was her reincarnate. Isn't that just the coolest?" I squealed, squeezing my pillow tight. "But, a part of me doubts her, you know? Like I was just dreaming it, or something. She said that when I go to sleep, we would talk again, and it's -" I paused and glanced at my digital clocked, "- twelve noon. I really need to get some sleep." Raven nodded before getting up from my bed.

"Then I should let you sleep," she told me. "If what you're saying is true, tell me what she says when you wake up. I'll unlock my door for you." I stared at her, surprised that she would do something as sweet as that for me.

"Thanks, Raven," I told her. "She said that I could trust you."

"She told you that?" Raven questioned as she stopped at my door. I nodded.

"She told me by name. She said I could trust you with my secret, and I will." I smiled at her. I saw a ghost of a smile on her face before she left the room.

I sat back on my bed and glanced around my dark room. Too much purple and pink. Maybe because I've only been sleeping here that I never noticed just how girly the room was. Maybe I could get Raven to go with me to the mall so I can redecorate my room. That would be fun. Maybe I could go grocery shopping while I was at it.

I jumped off my bed and walked over to my desk that had been added some time ago. I opened my blue Dell laptop – a birthday present from Cyborg – and logged onto it. I opened my to-do list and added "Go Grocery Shopping" to the very top. I planned on trying to get that done tomorrow, or better yet tonight.

Logged off, I stripped out of my normal attire and slipped into black satin nightgown I had bought some time ago. I lay down on my bed. I was so close to seeing her again. Delphine. That was such a pretty name. I liked that name. As I closed my eyes, I could have sworn I heard someone giggle, but I was so exhausted that I couldn't care less.


End file.
